Essential Leader

Servant Leaders: Whence Went Civility?

Muder and Vader stand facing the camera. Expressions as stoic as one might expect of a couple who had survived World War II relatively intact. Their home, which was originally a Dominican monastery 60 kilometers northeast of Paris, had been commandeered during the war for use as an R & R retreat for Nazi officers. Vadar, when he wasn’t overseeing the apple and pear orchards that covered the surrounding countryside, spent the rest of his life scouring Europe for the possessions that had been looted from their chateau. In his right hand is the ever-present cigar whose smell is so imprinted on my brain, that when I smell it anywhere else, I am instantly transported back to our time living in the gatehouse of the chateau. Muder is dressed to go to town. She wears a trim knee length coat and a small dark hat perched on her head. Together they look for all the world like clones of Winston Churchill and Ingrid Bergman.

I’m sure they had names. He was a Dutch Baron who had brought his beautiful Baroness to France to live before the war. My sister and I knew them as Muder and Vader (mother and father). They are our God parents. They had no natural children, though I think that Muder must have previously been married, because they had a stepson we called Uncle Lonnie. In pictures, he is a dashingly handsome, cigarette smoking young man. Uncle Lonnie took me to school each day on the back of his war-surplus motorcycle. The way my mother looks at his photo today, I suspect she may have had a crush on Lonnie.

I bring this story up because of an article in this morning’s paper describing a growing movement at universities to teach civility to college students. Citing a growing trend of incivility amongst students, including one incident that started in a bar and ended with the death of a student, universities are beginning to offer classes like George Mason University’s seminar in Professionalism and Civility. It seems that young people are making it to universities without having been taught, among other things, how to “play nice.”

My siblings and I were raised in a military family. While at times our lives resembled scenes from the movie “The Great Santini,” for the most part we lived as normal a life as a global-trotting family possibly could. All elders were our elders and were addressed as “Sir” or “Ma’m” as was appropriate. Us boys didn’t hit girls, at least not in the presence of elders, and the girls were expected to be young ladies at all times. Various forms of corporal punishment—gasp!—ensured that rules and expectations were carried out.

But living at the Chateau put a different dimension into our lives. Each afternoon, my sister and I visited Muder in the den of the Chateau for high tea. There, beneath the stuffed gaze of the boar’s head that hung over the fireplace, my sister and I learned the fine points of etiquette: how to pour tea, which bit of silver was used for which part of the meal, that gentlemen stood until the ladies were seated and how to assist a lady to sit without knocking her down, how to listen politely without interrupting. And so forth. Muder was quite stern during these lessons. But once they were over, and if we had performed adequately, we were given little candies and cookies and, best of all, Muder would sing French lullabies to us until we fell asleep.

Reading the article in the news, a wave of nostalgia came over me. We should all have Muders to teach us manners and civility.

 

FORGE for November

FORGE - November 16 th Chairman Level Member Partner Level Members Join Our Network Forge Welcomes Senator Bob Packwood Tuesday - November 16, 2010 - 11:30 am Marylhurst University 17600 Pacific Highway Marylhurst, OR 97036 The youngest Senator in history when he was first elected in 1969, Bob Packwood represented Oregon with distinction until 1995, serving at various times as Chairmen of both the Senate Commerce Committee and the Senate Finance Committee. At our November FORGE luncheon Mr. Packwood will share his unique perspective on business in these unique times. Cost: Early bird special for Chamber Members $15 - until November 10th After November 11th cost for Members is $20 Cost for Non-members is $25 Registration & complete details here. Thank you to the sponsors of the FORGE Business Education Series

Losing Trust

President Obama’s recent firing of General McChrystal raises some interesting questions about the role of trust. Having been a part of several battle staffs during my military career, I would suggest that these scenarios engender at least two levels of dialog. At the “public” level there is the dialog that I’m sure McChrystal would have preferred to see in the Rolling Stone article: What’s going on? Where are we going? What do we need to do to get the mission accomplished? There is almost a dance-like quality to the activity that it takes to smoothly coordinate the innumerable pieces of a highly fluid battle situation.  At the center, like the conductor in an orchestra, McChrystal and his key advisors would be focused quite intently on the business of the moment and largely ignorant, by choice, of anything that did not directly contribute to the focus of his attention. At the public level, the atmosphere of a professional, highly trained, highly motivated battle team that is working smoothly to make sense of the “sh*t storm” of information flowing into and out of the room is one that almost crackles with radiant energy.  Imagine sitting in a pressure cooker trying to string beads in a windstorm and you get the idea.

People under that kind of pressure need an outlet and that leads to a second, “non-public” level of dialog. Just as one can find in any sports team locker room or any office break room, there is trash talk, jibs, jokes, and general banter that has little to do with the business at hand, but is vital in relieving the pressure of the situation. It builds and reinforces the bonds of the team and actually nurtures and facilitates the complex web of informal relationships that bind the team. A team without some form of non-public pressure-relief mechanism can implode and disintegrate or grind itself to a state of ineffectiveness. The general and his or her key advisors set the tone for what is acceptable in this non-public dialog. Like some famous basketball coaches, the tone can be mercurial, vulgar, and politically-incorrect or it can be “family friendly” and jovial.

Whatever form this non-public dialog takes, no one really expects to be held accountable until or unless it crosses some threshold. For the most part, this side dialog is background noise to the public conversation and the dance of the battle staff. In this particular case, the threshold was crossed when McChrystal, or more likely, one of his key advisors allowed the comments to be made public record.

No transcript of the conversation between President Obama and General McChrystal has been made public. But I would suspect, and hope, that when McChrystal was summoned to explain what happened, he pointed the finger of responsibility right where it belonged, at himself. Regardless of any personal animosity that existed between Obama and McChrystal, a public trust had been violated. As Hamish Taylor, Strategy Consultant & Coach put it, “the outcome was probably in both men’s interest the right one.”

Could trust be rebuilt through a process of reconciliation? Possibly. Given a different set of political circumstances and given different individual personalities, it might have been possible to take the time, and it would require time, to forge anew the bonds of trust. But McChrystal is who he is. He was famous for his brusque, rough-edged manners. Obama also is who he is, someone who tolerates, in private, a certain brashness and bravado in his advisors, but in public suffers no rogue players.

Today is Flag Day

Mythos is a Greek word meaning "story, legend, plot" and may refer to Myth or Mythology: the shared elements, characters, settings and themes in a set of works. Durkheim asked, “What holds a society together?” Marx wondered, “What changes society?” In both cases the answer is Mythos.

In its original form, mythos refers to the stories that were passed via oral tradition, having threads of religious, social, gender role, and contextual meanings. These stories give us, members of a society examples of appropriate behavior within our culture, for better or worse. This includes models for interpersonal interaction, as well as definitions of self. Myths are the cement that hold a society together through reinforcing community values, by making the mores highly visible and well known. In a modern context we get our stories from a much more diverse set of media: print, radio, television, and the internet.

Myths, like cultures, are not constant; rather, mythos are revamped and reinterpreted over time to fit with new information and peoples within an evolving culture. Shifts in cultural paradigms are reflected in the changes in the myths that each of us carries within ourselves. While this is a natural phenomena, shifts in cultural paradigms cause anxiety as  we struggle to assimilate and adapt to the new myths. If the changes come too quickly or are too jarring, we may reject them. In times of extreme duress, we may find ourselves reexamining our original myths as we struggle to make sense of the swirling currents of change. I liken it to resetting a locked up computer to an earlier “restore” point.

Flag Day is one of those “restore points.” It is a time when we look back in order to make sense of that which is coming. And so this morning I share with you one of my restore points. Red Skelton was one of my favorite shows as a kid. His gentle humor and slapstick antics on his live comedy show were often best when he threw out the script and improvised. I will never forget this special show that he broadcast in 1969: http://proof-proofpositive.blogspot.com/2010/06/pledge-of-allegiance-red-skelton.html. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Intent vs. Purpose

Kolp and Rea speak briefly on intentionality on page 181, but is a far bigger concept.  Last Friday and Saturday, I had the privilege of attending a leadership conference held by Oregon PTA.  What struck me in the last couple workshop I attended was the question of intent.  The topic of the workshop was "Effective Practices for PTA Boards."  The facilitator stressed purpose over and over again (which I agree is important), but I believe there should be an equally strong emphasis with the concept of intent.  Purpose is defined as "something set up as an object or end to be attained."  While intent is "the state of mind with which an act is done."  

For example, one woman was frustrated with some of the teachers at her school who left a pricey technological gift unwrapped in the corner.  "They were expensive and now a waste of money," she lamented.  I asked her what her intent was - "to give the teachers a valuable teaching tool."  She laughed when she realized that her intent had been satisfied, but that she could not force the gift to be used. 

Many of the participants of this conference were concerned with meeting attendance and membership increases.  When asked what their purpose was the answer was often "to make parents better parents" or "to raise lots of money for education."   This is all well and good, but one must also question his/her intent within this process.  While they may go hand in hand, quite often they don't.  "Intentionality is our way of stretching between what is and what will be, or could be." (Kolp & Rea, p. 181)  We must honestly and prudently, with wisdom, look within and ask ourselves of our intent.  Purpose will then follow. 

Small Acts of Heroism

While the cell phone network is virtually non-existent, news continues to trickle out of Haiti by way of email. We are struck by the growing number of small acts of heroism as people struggle to cope with the enormity of the tragedy.

 

Etienne Francois, the agronomist/veterinarian sponsored by our church, opened up his home and property to refugees. He and his wife, Darlene, are now struggling to care for more than 30 refugee families. This has entailed several 200-mile round trips to Port-au-Prince to purchase food and supplies at exorbitant prices. He tells us his savings are gone.

 

L. J. Scott and his wife, Ruth of Reciprocal Ministries International were surprised by a gift of more than 8,200 pounds of relief food supplies delivered by Agape Flights. More than 150,000 refugees have flooded into Les Cayes, about 100 miles west of Port-au-Prince. RMI and other local organizations were quickly overwhelmed. Nearly everything had been depleted and things were looking pretty desperate. Apparently someone at Agape Flights got wind of the situation. Over a 2-day period, the planes made several trips via Florida and the Dominican Republic to drop off much needed supplies—at no cost!

 

Rod and Debbie Wray of Harvest International gratefully received new visitors in the form of Doctors Bill Tenhaaf and Jon Roberts, who showed up from Missouri and began doing surgeries at the local hospital. Since they arrived, several smaller relief groups have combined efforts and cleaned out old storage/work shop areas and converted them to hospital wards for recovering Haitian patients. In addition, Rod tells me that he and his people are setting up a refugee camp that will support up to 200 families.

 

But not all of the news is good. Some smaller relief agencies, overwhelmed to the point of breaking, have given up and are packing it in. Unfortunately many of these agencies operate on a thin margin. Crises like this one are causing some to collapse.

Ribbons

If I ask you to think about ribbons, it is very likely you will recall the brightly colored bits of silk that we weave through a child’s hair. Or perhaps you will reflect on the ribbons we wrap around the treasures and gifts we give each other to celebrate special events. Ribbons symbolize and highlight things delicate and precious. We use the word to describe creeks and moonlight and love.

A different kind of ribbon has been on my mind this week. I have been reflecting on the ribbons that service members wear on their uniforms. More than just pretty colors, these ribbons always tell a story. From bottom to top these ribbons document the mundane and the heroic. While these ribbons may be worn proudly by one person, to the discerning observer each ribbon speaks of selfless service to ideals invariably larger than any single life.

When my father passed away, we buried him at Willamette National Cemetery in the only suit that mattered to him, his Air Force uniform. Though I think of him as a crusty old coot, he was actually younger than I am now when he died. As we prepared to seal his casket, my mother asked me to retrieve something from him. His ribbons of service. She keeps them safely tucked away. Reminders of a life dedicated to the service of his country spanning the period from the Korean conflict to Vietnam.

A few years ago, the youth pastor at our church suddenly died of a heart attack while leading our high school youth group on a service tour in New Orleans after hurricane Katrina. Knowing that he had been an Air National Guard non-commissioned officer (NCO), my wife and I built a “shadow box” of memorabilia from his time of service. It contained the flag that draped his casket, patches that he had worn on his uniform, chevrons of the ranks he held, and his service ribbons. Puzzled by some of the unfamiliar ribbons that are unique to the Guard and wanting to make sure that they were properly arranged, I visited his old units at Portland Air National Guard Base to find out the stories behind the ribbons. The story that unfolded was not of unsung acts of heroism, but one of simple dedication to a mission. He was one among many that together wove a ribbon of veteran service to a country he loved.

Next month I get to put on my own set of ribbons and a uniform I have not worn in 15 years to administer the oath of commissioning to our oldest son. Proudly, and probably a little tearfully, my wife and I will welcome him to the ranks of veterans who have served. He will begin building his own collection of ribbons, his own precious story.

Today, let’s think about ribbons. And to those of you who have built your own little collection or know someone who has, thank you for your service.

Seth Godin at TED

The Worst is Yet to Come

There is a scene in the movie Jurassic Park where skeptical scientists are about to take their first ride through the dinosaur-inhabited theme park. Back in the control room, the park's skeptical chief engineer (played by Samuel L. Jackson) watches events unfold on a monitor, leans back in his chair and mutters under his breath, "Hold on to your butts."

A similar sentiment is expressed in five Foreign Policy essays by economists who correctly predicted the current global financial meltdown. They warn us that "The Worst is Yet to Come" (the title of the collection) and that we had better buckle up for a long, rough ride.

What can we expect? In the U.S., a recession for at least the next 24 months, maybe longer. This in turn will have a ripple effect that may drive the global economy into a downward spiral of recession that will be the worst in 75 years. Because of the complex interweaving of the global economy, the economists predict that no country will escape unscathed.

We are starting to see the effects of economic freefall here in the U.S. Normally, I receive maybe one unsolicited resume a month from educators fishing for an adjunct teaching position at Marylhurst University. But starting around Thanksgiving, I've been receiving on average, one inquiry a day. Even the students applying to the business degree programs, which usually include a small share of career-changers and right-sizers, has grown to include some pretty impressively credentialed professionals looking to reposition themselves for a changing and increasingly competitive job market.

So is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Even the experts can’t answer that with certainty. According to the five economists, it is going to take a complex, internationally coordinated, unorthodox approach. Needless to say, it is not going to be easy. David M. Smick, editor of The International Economy magazine and one of the five experts cited in the article, suggests that the potential solution lies in the untapped financial reserves being held in money market funds and other places. According to Smick, “It’s simply sitting on the sidelines, including $6 trillion in global money market funds alone.”

The world’s leaders, including one newly elected U.S. President, have a huge task ahead of them. If we reframe the challenge in a more positive light, we could call this a terrific opportunity to excel. We wish them Godspeed. In the meantime, hold on to your butts.

VOTE!

My vote doesn’t count! The election’s already been decided. I don’t like either one of the candidates, so I’m not going to vote. These comments and more came up last night in the U.S. History class I’m currently teaching. Where, I wonder, did we develop this profound sense of helplessness; this defeatist attitude? My overwhelming desire was to take the class by its figurative ear and give it a hard shake.

Of course your vote counts! But it is the culmination of a long process of grassroots campaigns, committee meetings, and local rallies. The candidates we have before us in the current election didn’t just pop out of the woodwork or crawl out from under a rock (as one student suggested). They are the product of a chain of events that goes back for years. If, like most of us, you sit outside the process, uninformed and uninvolved at the local level and only jump in at the last minute to cast your ballot, you should not be surprised to feel disenfranchised.

Get involved from the get-go. Find time to attend your local town council. Volunteer to be on a citizen’s advisory committee. Communicate regularly, and thoughtfully, and respectfully, to those who are already in office. Work on the campaign of someone you actually like. They will appreciate the support. Even better, run for office yourself! If you don’t like the candidates that are stepping forward, then step forward yourself. Take it from one who’s done it. Campaigning for a locally elected office gives one a deep appreciation for the challenges that face candidates on the national stage.

Your vote counts! Every vote will count in the coming election. Do it once and do it right. This country needs you.